It's Paris Hilton's Fault! No, it's Lindsay Lohan's Fault! No, Wait! It's Britney Spears' Fault!

The Toronto Star today reported:

Sagging underwear hurts bottom line - CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Underwear and hosiery maker Hanesbrands said its profit for the quarter ended Dec. 30 tumbled 78 per cent as the company made its transition to a standalone business and sales of underwear dropped.

Our population is growing. There's a mini baby boom and our bulge of young people in the 18-30 year range is in the prime consuming demographic. Underwear sales should be INCREASING not decreasing.

The only logical reason sales are down? The skanks of Hollywood have undertaken recently to going bottomless. This must be the start of a horrible, unsanitary new trend. Never mind beware of sitting on toilet seats. Beware of sitting, um, anywhere.

Yuck.