Empress of the Universe

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The CIA has a Website!

While researching United States population statistics at www.ask.com for my last blog post, I discovered that the CIA has a website. Yes, the Central Intelligence Agency.

When my search results appeared, I clicked on the top link without checking to see who hosted the site. I suppose at first I thought I landed at the World Book Encyclopedia. Then I saw the url: www.cia.gov.

I'm pretty sure this is not a spoof site since it's a .gov domain (you must be a government agency to register a .gov address).

What does the CIA need a website for? Marketing and public relations? Wouldn't you think if you were working for the CIA and needed intelligence that you would visit a secret, secure website and not a publicly accessible www domain?

The main page of the site includes these fascinating navigation options: "The Factbook on Intelligence" - "Speeches and Testimony" - "Current Recruiting Ad" - and so much more, plus an entire section on the CIA for kids. Honest! I am not making that up! I can barely read this with a straight face: "National Clandestine Recruiting Services - You Can Make A World of Difference!"

Oh, how I wish I could read Arabic -- there's a link from the home page titled "Iraqi Rewards Program" but the text is entirely in Arabic. What kind of "Rewards Program" is this? How do I sign up? What kind of freebies can I get with my points? I've been wanting one of those robot floor vacuums, I wonder how many Iraqi Rewards Points I need! Or maybe only Iraqi's can earn Iraqi Reward Points? Like 100 points for every litre of oil?

Then it occurred to me.... what if it's really a decoy site, filled with misinformation to throw off foreign spies and potential terrorists? What if they lied about the land mass of the United States, its climate, key industries and infant mortality rates in order to deke out their enemies?

Hey, wait. There's a careers section here. Ooops, gotta run. I'm going to take the CIA Personality Quiz to see if I'm suited for a life running through dark alleys, wearing fabulous disguises and sipping champagne on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Wait! I just read the fine print, which probably now excludes me from any career considerations:

"Important Notice: You are interested in a position as an overt employee---which means you can acknowledge your affiliation with the Central Intelligence Agency. But should you? There may be friends, family, individuals or organizations who would be very interested to learn that you are an applicant for or an employee of the CIA. Their interest, however, may not be benign or in your best interest. You cannot control who they would tell. We therefore ask you to exercise discretion and good judgment in disclosing your interest in a position with the Agency.

I guess I just got myself crossed off the hire list!

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Blogger Angelove said...

OMG Michelle...we are so much alike! Slight over thinking here, hmmmm?
You're so funny!

8:16 PM  

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