Empress of the Universe

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Days 3 and 4 - My So-called New LIfe

Day 3 - Waterloo. Cut the lawn at the rental property. Good news: we have a conditional offer on the house. Fingers crossed the deal goes through -- it's my safety net. Stopped in to see my sister Chris who was dancing with her partner (translated that means she was dragging around an IV pole!). Damn bastards at Shopper's Drug Mart never even called or wrote to apologize for damn-near killing her. Got home just in time to clean up the kitchen from Day 2's dinner party (no, we don't eat guests for dinner) and cook Day 3's dinner. The littler empress called. Conversation started like this: "Mom, I'm OK." Needless to say, when a conversation starts like that, you know there's a part of the story when she WASN'T OK. She was stepped on by a horse that spooked and had to get 2 stitches in her leg. She insists everything is fine. Whenever I would leave my parents' house, they always advised "Be good, have fun." With Shannon my advice is always "Be smart. Have fun." She was quick to let me know that the accident didn't happen because she wasn't smart: "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Mom." She was leading a horse from the stable to the arena when it spooked at a tractor. The tractor driver wisely turned off the machine to let them pass, but then UNWISELY started it again as soon as she was by. The tractor backfired and spooked the horse who rose up then came down on Shannon's leg. Next time, ask the guy not to restart the tractor until you and the horse are W-A-Y-O-V-E-R------------>T-H-E-R-E!

Went to Dorothy's after dinner for a little R 'n' R. She told me that I remind her of a jack-in-the-box (jill-in-the-box?) that's just sprung out and is flip-flopping side-to-side, front-to-back, boing, boing, BOING all over the place. Um. Perfect description of me right now.

Invented a new word today: "erratica" - it's when your erotic fantasies keep getting interrupted by your attention-deficit-disorder -- suddenly you remember you have to take your shoes to the shoemaker, buy picture-hanging hardware, clean the fridge in the basement, scoop the cat litter, pay the hydro bill..... You read it here first.

Day 4 - Dentist, remembered to "pre-med" this time. Grocery store to pick up dinner -- now THAT's something new - planning AND SHOPPING for dinner before 10:00 a.m. Finally spoke with my brother Jeremy (who, I want it known, returned every single one of my phone calls this week!) Bank to sign affidavits so they can return the $1,000 stolen from my account. Wallpaper browsing for a short bit. Came up with a clever idea -- I took photos of the wallpaper samples with my cell phone then emailed them to myself. They haven't arrived yet and it's been hours -- where in the universe is my mail? OK, so it SEEMED like a clever idea. Lunch (cheez whiz and crackers). Sick, no really, I mean I got sick right after eating. Usual deep crash. Thyroid specialist appointment (been waiting more than 6 months, hooray!). Blood tests. She'll call with a prescription tomorrow. Hooray again! Terrible crash, tremendous headache. Could hardly drive home. Slept for 3 hours. Woke up minutes before Lju came home from work. BBQ'd fresh pickerel for dinner. One of the biggest differences: we eat dinner when it's still light out! Tomorrow I must tend to business. I've been putting it off all week -- but it's not like I've had any time!

Last thing today: Jeremy got a promotion. Meet my baby brother, the new VP of National Promotion! I'm such a proud big sister.


Anonymous Jeremy said...

Hey Sister,
How nice that you say this. thanks so much for the honourable mention - it makes me feel great

10:01 PM  

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