Someone Find the Off Button, Quick!

It's not even 10:00 a.m. and, after working 14 1/2 hours at The Children's Group yesterday, already this morning I have:

* washed the kitchen and breakfast room floors
* vacuumed the entire house
* lemon oiled all the hard wood flooring
* cut the lawn (an amazing pattern, if I do say so myself!)

Someone please find the "off" switch, please!

Days 3 and 4 - My So-called New LIfe

Day 3 - Waterloo. Cut the lawn at the rental property. Good news: we have a conditional offer on the house. Fingers crossed the deal goes through -- it's my safety net. Stopped in to see my sister Chris who was dancing with her partner (translated that means she was dragging around an IV pole!). Damn bastards at Shopper's Drug Mart never even called or wrote to apologize for damn-near killing her. Got home just in time to clean up the kitchen from Day 2's dinner party (no, we don't eat guests for dinner) and cook Day 3's dinner. The littler empress called. Conversation started like this: "Mom, I'm OK." Needless to say, when a conversation starts like that, you know there's a part of the story when she WASN'T OK. She was stepped on by a horse that spooked and had to get 2 stitches in her leg. She insists everything is fine. Whenever I would leave my parents' house, they always advised "Be good, have fun." With Shannon my advice is always "Be smart. Have fun." She was quick to let me know that the accident didn't happen because she wasn't smart: "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Mom." She was leading a horse from the stable to the arena when it spooked at a tractor. The tractor driver wisely turned off the machine to let them pass, but then UNWISELY started it again as soon as she was by. The tractor backfired and spooked the horse who rose up then came down on Shannon's leg. Next time, ask the guy not to restart the tractor until you and the horse are W-A-Y-O-V-E-R------------>T-H-E-R-E!

Went to Dorothy's after dinner for a little R 'n' R. She told me that I remind her of a jack-in-the-box (jill-in-the-box?) that's just sprung out and is flip-flopping side-to-side, front-to-back, boing, boing, BOING all over the place. Um. Perfect description of me right now.

Invented a new word today: "erratica" - it's when your erotic fantasies keep getting interrupted by your attention-deficit-disorder -- suddenly you remember you have to take your shoes to the shoemaker, buy picture-hanging hardware, clean the fridge in the basement, scoop the cat litter, pay the hydro bill..... You read it here first.

Day 4 - Dentist, remembered to "pre-med" this time. Grocery store to pick up dinner -- now THAT's something new - planning AND SHOPPING for dinner before 10:00 a.m. Finally spoke with my brother Jeremy (who, I want it known, returned every single one of my phone calls this week!) Bank to sign affidavits so they can return the $1,000 stolen from my account. Wallpaper browsing for a short bit. Came up with a clever idea -- I took photos of the wallpaper samples with my cell phone then emailed them to myself. They haven't arrived yet and it's been hours -- where in the universe is my mail? OK, so it SEEMED like a clever idea. Lunch (cheez whiz and crackers). Sick, no really, I mean I got sick right after eating. Usual deep crash. Thyroid specialist appointment (been waiting more than 6 months, hooray!). Blood tests. She'll call with a prescription tomorrow. Hooray again! Terrible crash, tremendous headache. Could hardly drive home. Slept for 3 hours. Woke up minutes before Lju came home from work. BBQ'd fresh pickerel for dinner. One of the biggest differences: we eat dinner when it's still light out! Tomorrow I must tend to business. I've been putting it off all week -- but it's not like I've had any time!

Last thing today: Jeremy got a promotion. Meet my baby brother, the new VP of National Promotion! I'm such a proud big sister.

Someone Please Save Me from Myself

I'm exhausted. Day 2. Tea with hubby. Favourite part of day. Great conversation with Judy. Second best part of day. Patch walls in preparation for painting, sometime next month. Ladder to Shannon's room. Take down custom curtain, takes hours. Wash curtains. Assemble new steam cleaner. Steam clean carpets. Too hot in here. Reinstall curtains, takes hours. Lunch on the patio. Nap. Shower. Dress. Shop for guest for dinner. Prepare dinner. Enjoy hostessing. Dinner started at 7:30 and ended at 11:30 p.m. Great way to spend an evening, chocolate fondue and red wine. I'm exhausted.

The First Day of My New Life

Today,

I got up at my usual time and had tea with my husband. That's the best part of my day.

Started my special secret project then left the house at 10:00 to go to the bank. My bank card was cancelled this weekend since it had been used at a bank machine that had been 'compromised.'

Got a new bank card. Found out the slimy thief made two $500 withdrawls on my account on Saturday afternoon. His mistake? He made both withdrawls within minutes of me using my card in Ajax, ON. Thank GOD for BMO security tracking....

Went to have 'tea' with my Mom. Only it turned out it was coffee. First cuppa coffee I've had in more than 3 weeks.

Came home to see Shannon off to Barrie for a few days of horse showing.

Got an email from my friend Nat. Talked with him on the phone for a few minutes.

Went to the post office. Went to the grocery store. Back to the post office. Bought a toe ring. It's cute. Birthday cards for F and A, even though it's two weeks past their birthdays.

Home to pay bills. Spent a fortune, including house taxes on both properties. I think I need a job.

Called UPS to find out where last week's package is. Turns out it was delivered at 9:40 this morning and signed for by a guy named 'Vince.' I hope a guy named Vince shows up at the door with my UPS package. Guess I need to get to know my neighbours!

Took photos of the storm clouds. Walked to the post office box, but even though I've lived here for 5 years, I have no idea which PO box is ours. That's kind of pathetic, don't you think? Tried our key in 5 locks and none opened. Felt like a criminal. I'll leave it for Lju.

Called the Waterloo tenant at his parents' number. He wasn't there. Of course, his father knew nothing of his son's lies and deception regarding outstanding rent and bills. The kids owes us $1,000.00. Dad accused me of having a bad attitude. Yeah? And your kid's a liar. Pissed me off royally.

Updated bank accounts. Opened financial reports from investment advisor. Didn't read them but pretended that I did. Will file them tomorrow.

Picked up wonderful, kind voice mail message from Judy. God, I love her! She offered congratulations, lunch date and healing session. Made me cry.

Started dinner. Broke a Corningware dish top and it shattered into a million pieces.

Swept floor, vacuumed floor, moved fridge, moved stove, vacuumed and cleaned behind each. Figured since I had the vacuum out, I may as well do the whole house, even though I had just vacuumed it all yesterday. Man! Working is easier than this. At least when the painter comes in a few weeks to paint the house, he'll think, wow, what a housekeeper -- it's spotless behind the fridge and the stove.

It's wonderful to be able to plan, cook, enjoy pleasing my family with a thoughtful dinner.

Pre-dinner drinks with my husband on the patio. Shared every moment of my day. He's so patient and kind.

Dinner was delightful. Maybe drank a little too much, ate just enough.

Blogged.

If anyone had been following me today, they would think I was either manic depressive or being chased by the Mob. I'm exhausted. And I feel like I'm cheating, just waiting to be caught. Like I'm skipping off school or work and any moment now I'll be found out as a fraud. This is so stressful! Can't wait for tomorrow!

A True Story from September 2004.....

Was looking for an old email message this week and came across this classic, sent to a business colleague on September 17, 2004. Boy! I save everything. But this is a classic business story, don't you think?

Last week I went into the hospital for surgery. At 2 p.m. I walked into the operating room and climbed up on to the operating table. In the room with me were three surgical nurses, the surgeon, (all women) and the anesthetist. The anesthetist put me into position and everyone started hooking up sensors and lines, got the IV running; there was commotion all around. At one point, the anesthetist said, "I'm going to ask you the same question I ask everyone: Do you have any hobbies?"

"Yes," I answered. "I'm a painter."

"Oh really? Do you paint walls or canvases?" he inquired.

"Portraits, actually," I replied. He was very impressed. "Is that a hobby or is that your profession?," he asked.

"No, right now it's my dream that someday I can earn my living from my art, but right now I have to have a real job."

"What do you do now?" he asked. I told him that I run a record company that produces classical music recordings for children.

"YOU DO? OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU" he screamed at me. All heads in the operating theatre turned to look at him. "I beg your pardon?" I asked.

He was practically jumping up and down: "My wife and I have a one-year-old daughter. She listens only to classical music." He then asked a ton of questions about which titles we produce, what series, and how many in each of the series (it turns out he owns a few Mozart Effect CDs but she's still too young for Classical Kids). I told him about each of The Mozart Effect and Classical Kids titles and said, "When she gets older, she may also enjoy our opera CD."

"OH MY GOD!" he screamed again. "I THINK WE HAVE THAT CD. That's the one with Russell Braun, right?"

I explained that Russell Braun was on one of our OTHER opera CDs (Mozart's Magic Fantasy). I was trying to think of some of the names of the opera stars on The World's Very Best Opera for Kids CD.....but things were starting to get cloudy now as the anesthetic started flowing.

"Oh, yes," he remembered for me. "That's the one with Michael Schade," HE says to ME! Inside the back of my head I'm thinking: I can NOT believe I am having this conversation.

"That's right" I say, in shock that, at that moment, he knows more about my product than I do.

"Michael Schade sings Figaro on that CD, doesn't he?" the anesthetist asks. Now, things are getting really foggy but I know that's not right....but I can't think of the name of the song that Michael Schade sings. So, getting foggier and foggier, I start singing it.....

At least the guy recognized the melody. "Oh yes, La donna e mobile," he tells me. (I remember thinking: this guy should come work for us!)

"I'd like to get more of your CDs," he said. "Where can I find them?"

"Well, you should be able to find them at any record store," I said optimistically. "Or you can go to our website at www.childrensgroup.com"

I wasn't aware of it, but the surgical nurses and the surgeon had been paying close attention to our conversation. Suddenly one of the nurses came lunging at me with a pad of paper and a pen. "WHAT'S THAT WEBSITE AGAIN?" she screamed at me.

It took every bit of energy and memory that I had to s-l-o-w-l-y get out the words: w-w-w-dot-child-rens- group - dot - com.

My last words before going under.

Fade to black.

If I had died on the operating room table that day, MY LAST DYING WORDS WOULD HAVE BEEN

WWW.CHILDRENSGROUP.COM

No parting messages to my beautiful daughter, my loving husband, my wonderful parents. NO!!!!!!!!

WWW.CHILDRENSGROUP.COM

I've always joked that with my long hours and stressful gig no one should be surprised to find me dead one morning slumped over my desk.......but that's not how I wanted to go: promoting our website!!!!!!!!!!!

At least our shareholders will be pleased to know that I was going for that last big sale......

Shannon's Graduation

I'm such a proud Mom! My little girl has earned her Bachelor of Arts in Communications Studies and English. Share a few moments with us!

Click the arrow to play the video. Click any photo to enlarge.

A few more photos to come when we find the adaptor to get them off the card in Lju's phone!

Nano Technology

Long ago when I was in high school we learned that an atom was the smallest form of matter. Things have changed. Now we have the nano. No, not the I-pod mini, but the actual unit of measurement. How small is a nanometer? According to the current issue of National Geographic:

* "one human hair is about 80,000 nanometers wide
* the nail on your little finger is about ten million nanometers across
* one nanometer is to an inch what one inch is to 400 miles
* Shaquille O'Neal is 2,160,000,000 nanometers tall
* the head of a pin is one million nanometers wide
* a five dollar bill is 100,000 nanometers thick"

I find it awesome to comprehend the world in such infinitesimal quantities.

The US government invested one BILLION dollars in nanotechnology research last year alone -- more than they ever invested in the human genome project.

On a more simplistic note, it's also an awesome accomplishment for mankind that we can transplant a human heart.

So why can't we make a nail polish that doesn't smudge?