I Couldn't Make this Up if I Tried!

It seems Paris Hilton today professed a commitment to "stop acting dumb." Duh, broke that promise already, didn't she? Evidently, Paris made her stunning announcement in a collect telephone call from jail to Barbara Walters. If you were Paris's press agent, how would you handle this breaking news story? I mean, would you issue a press release on the subject? Let's not even discuss the poor little rich heiress making a collect call.... that's just too easy of a target, isn't it?

I wanted to post a picture of Paris on my blog so I thought I'd visit her website. Stop me from killing myself laughing. Under the headline 'Appearances' it actually says, "There are no current appearances planned." I guess she's tied up.

We could have so much fun with this.... Imagine the headlines over the next few weeks:

Mel Gibson Promises to Stop anti-Semitic Rants

OJ Simpson Vows to Find Nicole's Killer if it's the Last Thing on Earth that He Does

Rosie O'Donnell Pledges to Kiss and Make Up with Donald Trump, no Elizabeth Hasselbeck, no George Bush....

Gary Busey Swears to Not Act Insane

OK, that part WAS made up. This is too much fun! Send me your suggestions, I'll be happy to add them to the list....