Empress of the Universe

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I Couldn't Make this Up if I Tried!

It seems Paris Hilton today professed a commitment to "stop acting dumb." Duh, broke that promise already, didn't she? Evidently, Paris made her stunning announcement in a collect telephone call from jail to Barbara Walters. If you were Paris's press agent, how would you handle this breaking news story? I mean, would you issue a press release on the subject? Let's not even discuss the poor little rich heiress making a collect call.... that's just too easy of a target, isn't it?

I wanted to post a picture of Paris on my blog so I thought I'd visit her website. Stop me from killing myself laughing. Under the headline 'Appearances' it actually says, "There are no current appearances planned." I guess she's tied up.

We could have so much fun with this.... Imagine the headlines over the next few weeks:
  • Mel Gibson Promises to Stop anti-Semitic Rants
  • OJ Simpson Vows to Find Nicole's Killer if it's the Last Thing on Earth that He Does
  • Rosie O'Donnell Pledges to Kiss and Make Up with Donald Trump, no Elizabeth Hasselbeck, no George Bush....
  • Gary Busey Swears to Not Act Insane
  • OK, that part WAS made up. This is too much fun! Send me your suggestions, I'll be happy to add them to the list....

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    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Lindsay Lohan announces her name will not appear in the news today!

    8:37 AM  

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