My Courageous Sisters

My sisters are all so incredibly courageous.

Frequent visitors to this blog know that my sister Chris has a million things wrong with her, including the fact that she hasn't taken food by mouth in at least three? four? ten years? She's allergic to a million everyday things that make simple excursions -- like going to a restaurant, grocery shopping or visiting highway service centres to pee -- into life-or-death risks of anaphylaxis. She hooks up to several IVs every day - you should have seen the looks (no, stares) we got when we hooked her IV bag to the passenger seat sun visor for our trip home from Michigan a few weeks ago. She has incredible energy, even though she's losing her strength. She's the loving mother of two extraordinary teens, a wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, cousin, friend, neighbour -- and she never lets anyone know (except perhaps her nurse) how shitty she really feels. She's the bravest, most courageous, generous person I know. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Recent visitors may know that my sister Roni has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She'll be operated on this Friday. We know for certain that she'll require at least 25 chemotherapy treatments and then radiation. She's 41 years old. Like Chris, Roni is an inspiring woman. She's intelligent, funny, committed, passionate about social justice (and injustice). She's an amazing and talented writer, the loving mother of three extraordinary teens, a wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, cousin, friend, neighbour AND the executive director of an incredible and important not-for-profit agency. Shannon and I spent this evening with Roni, her family and many of her children's friends. Roni has incredible energy, great plans for the future and tremendous courage.

My sister Lori moved with her family to Indiana just over two years ago. That takes courage, I'll tell ya! She's gone from seeing us, her family, oh, maybe 10 times a week to seeing everyone, maybe, 3 times a year. I think it's the best thing she could ever have done for her children and her relationship with her husband. Lori looks the best she has looked in the past 15+ years. She's beautiful, strong, independent, and assertive. Like Chris and Roni, Lori is the loving mother of two extraordinary children (one a teen), a wife, sister, daughter, sister-in-law, cousin, friend, neighbour and volunteer with her children's schools and activities. Lori never writes or calls just to complain -- although I know how much she misses us is directly proportionate to the amount of baking she does!

Me? I get a headache and I'm in bed for the rest of the day. I cut my finger and have to avoid strenuous activity for a week. I hurt my leg climbing a ladder and you would have thought I had shrapnel wounds, the bandages were so dramatic.

I don't have the courage to not eat, fight cancer, raise more than one child, or move far from home. I'm not at all brave or courageous. In fact, I'm really quite ashamed of the whiner that I am.

But I think I know where I fit in here: if one of my sisters needs me, I'm there.

No questions asked, no job too rotten, no trip too long. I may not have the energy to weed my own garden, clean my own bathroom, tie my own scarves -- but Sisters, if you need me, I am there for you.

Thank YOU Loyal Readers!

Thanks to YOU my blogvalue has increased $564.54 in the past two weeks! Maybe I should auction off my blog on Ebay! Hey? Anybody wanna buy a blog?

August 29 value: $1,693.62
August 15 value: $1,129.08

Reader Discretion Strongly Advised

Warning! Some people may find the following post to be in poor taste. Reader discretion is advised.

I read the online headline that charges have been dropped against John Mark Karr in the Jon-Benet Ramsay murder case. I couldn't help but think:

1. Maybe the guy couldn't afford airfare back to the US so he figured he'd plead guilty to a high profile case and get the red carpet treatment and a first class trip home.

2. What's wrong with the LA County Police Department photographer? Notice any resemblence in these two most recent mug shots? Maybe the photographer is 7 feet tall -- "Just look up here with those puppy-blue eyes."

An Inspirational Story of Hope and Leadership

My sister has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Surgery is scheduled for September 1. Since she doesn't blog, I'm sharing this one on her behalf. Here is her story:

She wrote: "I am coaching an AMAZING soccer team. Ages 16-18. From our very first day, these kids have been incredible. Often at this level you get a couple of hotdogs on each team, you get boys that won't pass to girls, you get kids who do not or refuse to communicate or to receive direction. From day one, these kids have been communicative, they are supportive of one another, they all do their best every single time we are together, and they work together as if we had been a team forever. Our is the only team that fields 16-18 players EVERY SINGLE GAME....which is phenomenal at this age since so many kids work, date, etc. We play teams that are fielding 7 or 8 kids out of a roster of 18 kids.

We played in a tournament today. We won our first game 5-3. It was a solid game and we walked away feeling good about our performance.

I reffed between games so spent most of the day at the field.

Having just completed a game immediately preceding our second game today, my Assistant Coach started the game while I went off to change my shoes (from cleats to sandals) and to take off my sweaty jersey.

Turns out, between games these AMAZING kids organized a Pink Ribbon Campaign to show their support in the fight against breast cancer. When I arrived, every player, parent, and fan from both teams, ours and the opposing team, was wearing a pink ribbon. They also asked the ref if they could play with a pink ball in honour of their coach.

(The ref made them take the ribbons off during the game - pins are not safe when playing sports). At half-time the ref came over and hugged me, telling me I had a great group of kids.

When I learned what they had done, of course I cried and thanked the organizer, a strapping 17-year-old kid who couldn't even bring himself to call me (by my name) all season - he only ever referred to me as Coach, even when we ran into him at Canada's Wonderland this summer.

We were tied 3-3 at the end of regulation time. Our kids played their hearts out and were playing great soccer to boot - (no pun intended.) ....8 minutes into Extra Time, we're still tied 0-0. In Golden Goal, the first team to score a goal in ten minutes of Extra time wins the game. The ref tells us we have two minutes to put our kickers on the field ('cuz the only people that can take penalty shots - if it comes to that - are the players on the field). We add one more girl to the field who will be one of our kickers.

At 9 minutes 18 seconds, our team scores a goal and we win the game to advance to the semi-finals.

We celebrate our win, shake hands, and the coaches from the other team and I compliment one another on a fine and sporting performance. It really was a good game and could have gone either way.

In the meantime, (the assistant coach) and I had arranged for pizzas to be delivered to the field - figuring no matter what the end result, we wanted our kids to know that they have been a joy to work with this season.

So, I give my spiel: I thank them for a great season and invited them to join in for pizza. Instead the kids, their parents and grandparents form a circle around me and present me with an oversized card.... Inside each kid has written an inspirational message. They present me with the card saying that they decided to do this, not just because I am a great coach, even tho they say that I am, but because I am also a great person and they all want me know that we're in this together.

I, of course, start to cry (as I am now retelling the story). Each kid kisses and hugs me in turn. They present me with a guardian angel to keep me safe. I cry some more.

We eat our pizza and their parents start - thanking me for teaching their children sportsmanship, thanking me for a great season and offering their prayers.

I'm bawling now....and thank them for letting me spend time with their beautiful children.

R"

Of course, I cannot read this without crying myself. I agree with those kids 100% -- Roni is a pretty special and amazingly talented person! This is the kind of story that gives me great hope: of course, not only for Roni's prognosis, but also for the youth of today for the future of the world because of strong, positive and inspirational leaders like Roni.

More Evidence the World is Cruel to My Sister Chris

My sister Chris has gastroparesis. Among a host of other life-challenging health problems, she is also deathly allergic to mushrooms, coconut, latex, pineapple, kiwi, cats and all nuts. In fact, most of her allergies are air-borne, meaning if she is exposed to nut proteins in the air she will immediately have an anaphylactic reaction, requiring emergency use of an epi-pen and a trip to the hospital. Something as simple as shopping for the rest of us can be deadly to Chris. Within the past year she has almost died at Future Shop (they were having a bake sale to support a community group inside the vestibule; someone had baked with nuts) and Shopper's Home Health (a specialty store within the Shopper's Drug Mart brand, where ~ ironically ~ she went to purchase latex-free bandages only to walk into the store and find a large latex balloon bouquet!).

But here is the ultimate irony.

Chris entered a contest. She forgets what the contest actually was or which company was sponsoring it, but I imagine that she hoped to win $50,000, a new car or perhaps a trip to the Grand Canyon.

A few weeks ago she received a telephone call notifying her that she had won a consolation prize: 48 Oh Henry chocolate bars.

Doesn't sound so bad, does it? But what's the #2 ingredient in an Oh Henry bar after chocolate? NUTS!

Chris declined to accept the prize. She advised the caller that she was deathly allergic to nuts and asked him to award the prize to someone else. "We can't do that," he told her. "The rules clearly state that prizes must be accepted as awarded."

"But accepting your prize could kill me," she warned. "Can't you take it home or hand them out to the people you work with? What if I fax you a signed affidavit releasing you from any obligation to give me the prize?"

Nope. Not negotiable.

Let's presume that she had provided her address when she entered the contest and that's also why she couldn't have the box of chocolate bars sent to someone else's house (pick me!) ---

She told him to send the prize package via courier without a signature and to advise the delivery company to leave it on the front porch. She couldn't leave her house until her husband came home from work and moved the box to the trunk of his car. The next day he took 48 Oh Henry bars to his office and shared them with his grateful co-workers.

Chris, I'm sorry I laughed so very hard when you told me this story. The irony, the cruelty, the absurdity of it all kills me.

#1 on Today's "To-Do" List

Book mammogram.