Make It Count - Just Don't Do the Math!

We received a mailing from the Air Miles people today. I needed something mindless to do while grabbing dinner (Doritos and water at 11:00 at night), so I read their brochure. I noticed that you can redeem 100 Air Miles for a CD from the Universal Music catalogue.

If you don't have enough Air Miles, you can purchase additional miles at a cost of $0.30 a mile.

So let's say you have 10 Air Miles and you want a CD. You have to buy 90 Air Miles at $0.30 a mile. That'll cost you $27.00 to get your $10 CD.

Make it count - isn't that hilarious!

Michelle Henderson
aka Empress of the Universe
"It's my job to enlighten the world."

Online at www.empressgallery.com

An email to Lakeridge Health Centre Oshawa (aka Oshawa General Hospital)

This morning I had to visit the Echo department for tests. I noticed many signs prominently displayed about the hospital's "no fragrance" policy. Good for you!

EXCEPT FOR ONE MAJOR THING: My sister has airborne allergies to nut proteins. As soon as she is exposed to the protein IN THE AIR she goes into anaphylactic shock. Today you had a bake sale in the main lobby of the hospital. Many of the items being sold contained nuts of a variety of kinds. HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT? Thank God, my sister didn't have to visit your hospital today for any reason. IT COULD HAVE KILLED HER.

I brought this to the attention of a group of volunteers AND a technician in the Echo department. Everyone rolled their eyes at me like I'm crazy.

I support your fundraising efforts 100% but please ban nut products from any bake sales (or cafeteria products), for the sake of the community!

A Funny Line from My Dream Tonight

"When you're 45 'pancakes' IS the range of your imagination."

Spoken by a hyperactive and hyperintelligent young boy of about 8, as if 'pancakes,' in answer to some unknown question, represents NO IMAGINATION whatsoever.

This would make a great line in a script, although I have no idea what that script would be about. I guess that's why it's from a dream. It made me laugh in my dream, which made me laugh in my sleep, which woke me up, which is why I'm writing this at 3:20 a.m. Also because when you're 45, you can't remember things long enough to wait 'til morning.

From the News of the Ridiculous: Bono Feels Exploited

This is so ironic it needs no further comment.